i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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