What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
