I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
