after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
