never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
