just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
