Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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