I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
