So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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