We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize