Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??

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(248) i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem?? http://tfl.nu/bwq7

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(313): View more from Michigan

Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have

(1-313): View more from Michigan

None he's f-d

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(313): Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have (1-313): None he's f-d http://tfl.nu/3q7m

Replies (14) Good night (863) Bad night (1931)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

(201): View more from New Jersey

obviously you're part succubus.

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(609): Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf? (201): obviously you're part succubus. http://tfl.nu/sqeb

Replies (8) Good night (2422) Bad night (795)
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(954): View more from Florida

you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

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(954): you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now http://tfl.nu/39yk

Replies (82) Good night (26925) Bad night (1593)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.

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(763): My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching. http://tfl.nu/0wz9

Replies (13) Good night (661) Bad night (5455)
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(631): View more from New York

i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker

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(631): i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/xdfg

Replies (16) Good night (4792) Bad night (1266)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.

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(301): Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on. http://tfl.nu/5vnb

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(858): View more from California

Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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(858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban

Replies (28) Good night (8772) Bad night (1357)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.

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(423): i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions. http://tfl.nu/w3io

Replies (17) Good night (1200) Bad night (8123)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.

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(732): Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered. http://tfl.nu/wcxh

Replies (5) Good night (3229) Bad night (735)
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(239): View more from Florida

Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.

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(239): Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox. http://tfl.nu/ld2z

Replies (2) Good night (2484) Bad night (667)
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(254): View more from Texas

Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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(254): Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop. http://tfl.nu/r5qk

Replies (7) Good night (1759) Bad night (986)
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(561): View more from Florida

walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow

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(561): walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow http://tfl.nu/qm0x

Replies (4) Good night (1888) Bad night (633)
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(229): View more from Georgia

I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff

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(229): I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff http://tfl.nu/s9sx

Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (269)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.

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(540): The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness. http://tfl.nu/p6k2

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