Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.

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  (608): and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet. http://tfl.nu/bxi6
  Replies (22) Good night (750) Bad night (2155)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home

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  (313): i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home http://tfl.nu/61ja
  Replies (63) Good night (1054) Bad night (5479)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

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  (336): Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to http://tfl.nu/huat
  Replies (4) Good night (1611) Bad night (639)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes

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  (520): Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes http://tfl.nu/y839
  Replies (3) Good night (1495) Bad night (767)
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  (209): View more from California

  Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

  (209): View more from California

  And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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  (209): Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012. (209): And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas. http://tfl.nu/yl8f
  Replies (15) Good night (1929) Bad night (801)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.

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  (309): she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me. (708): Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you. http://tfl.nu/his2
  Replies (3) Good night (2763) Bad night (644)
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  (714): View more from California

  You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.

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  (714): You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/bbnq
  Replies (6) Good night (1426) Bad night (690)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.

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  (720): By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air. http://tfl.nu/rzj6
  Replies (3) Good night (1339) Bad night (896)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?

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  (512): I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day? http://tfl.nu/bpfn
  Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (414)
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  (916): View more from California

  Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?

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  (916): Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right? http://tfl.nu/1so7
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (399)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.

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  (307): eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me. http://tfl.nu/amg7
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.

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  (207): My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off. http://tfl.nu/aji8
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (316)
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  (909): View more from California

  I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire

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  (909): I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire http://tfl.nu/2hlt
  Replies (0) Good night (301) Bad night (596)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair

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  (+44): Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair http://tfl.nu/wtff
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober

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  (702): Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober http://tfl.nu/z8k7
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (205)

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