tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink