Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

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(603): She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her http://tfl.nu/d3n8

Replies (32) Good night (4236) Bad night (814)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.

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(901): can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you. http://tfl.nu/uemu

Replies (10) Good night (3277) Bad night (867)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.

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(706): I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom. http://tfl.nu/0mx3

Replies (28) Good night (4961) Bad night (989)
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(678): View more from Georgia

his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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(678): his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him. http://tfl.nu/quex

Replies (24) Good night (6089) Bad night (1364)
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(936): View more from Texas

the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"

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(936): the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?" http://tfl.nu/8dlf

Replies (11) Good night (4942) Bad night (1265)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.

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(973): composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals. http://tfl.nu/kw2o

Replies (13) Good night (5442) Bad night (1082)
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(209): View more from California

Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.

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(209): Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid. http://tfl.nu/85w7

Replies (8) Good night (2364) Bad night (714)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.

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(610): she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners. http://tfl.nu/yd21

Replies (3) Good night (1154) Bad night (735)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal

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(201): It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal http://tfl.nu/8mo5

Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (355)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.

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(443): Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos. http://tfl.nu/iwo5

Replies (8) Good night (1764) Bad night (469)
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(217): View more from Illinois

List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.

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(217): List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list. http://tfl.nu/996t

Replies (17) Good night (1514) Bad night (610)
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(905): View more from Ontario

So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?

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(905): So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose? http://tfl.nu/yuqf

Replies (12) Good night (386) Bad night (1354)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.

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(303): I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room. http://tfl.nu/4ego

Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (285)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.

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(843): Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him. http://tfl.nu/vyb2

Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (302)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!

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(816): Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!! http://tfl.nu/og4z

Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (197)

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