So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
