plz talk dirty to me
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
