my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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