dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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