i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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