i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
