sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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