We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
