return my video game
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
