apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
