I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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