i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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