I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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