Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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