just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.