Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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