You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
that is very illegal...i love you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
