Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.

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(914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way. http://tfl.nu/3diq

Replies (49) Good night (4044) Bad night (1436)
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(248): View more from Michigan

ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.

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(248): ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores. http://tfl.nu/e4hq

Replies (19) Good night (5000) Bad night (677)
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(716): View more from New York

So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.

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(716): So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar. http://tfl.nu/a5mu

Replies (64) Good night (6748) Bad night (674)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app

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(586): Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app http://tfl.nu/uu0s

Replies (78) Good night (6049) Bad night (2214)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already

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(724): I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already http://tfl.nu/y51h

Replies (10) Good night (2534) Bad night (2851)
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(631): View more from New York

I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude

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(631): I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude http://tfl.nu/oumf

Replies (12) Good night (1672) Bad night (3430)
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(214): View more from Texas

I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.

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(214): I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday. http://tfl.nu/w2er

Replies (24) Good night (1971) Bad night (5087)
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(917): View more from New York City

No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.

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(917): No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out. http://tfl.nu/gccc

Replies (3) Good night (1568) Bad night (739)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch

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(580): it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch http://tfl.nu/2vd8

Replies (15) Good night (2872) Bad night (643)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.

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(847): Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat. http://tfl.nu/qyw3

Replies (8) Good night (2175) Bad night (535)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.

(1-440): View more from Ohio

That's better than I've done so far.

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(440): Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today. (1-440): That's better than I've done so far. http://tfl.nu/4hrm

Replies (0) Good night (1086) Bad night (474)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.

(281): View more from Texas

That does show growth.

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(832): This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex. (281): That does show growth. http://tfl.nu/3swa

Replies (1) Good night (913) Bad night (439)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.

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(816): Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again. http://tfl.nu/9z7k

Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (976)
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(214): View more from Texas

Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.

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(214): Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds. http://tfl.nu/9ird

Replies (6) Good night (900) Bad night (343)
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(630): View more from Illinois

so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

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(630): so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!? http://tfl.nu/j27z

Replies (2) Good night (271) Bad night (485)

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