is your mom at the bar?
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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