i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up under a house in Key West
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
