I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I need a beard to bite.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.