You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
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I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
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Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.