hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
