Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
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Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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