Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize