fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We need to feng shui this bitch.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
