I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
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Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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