we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
