pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize