Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize