Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
