Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
this hospital has no fireball
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize