I need help removing her.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
