I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
