After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
