Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
