thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this beer tastes like vomit already
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Boobs are out for the taking
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
