ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just gift wrapped bread.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
