I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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