Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
whose parrot is this?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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