Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
