Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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