kristin has been a bad kristin
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
