mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
