so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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