her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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