May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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