so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
