well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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