My sheets look like a crime scene.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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