So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
