You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
