In the future we'll all be gay
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
