So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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