Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
