R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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