Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
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he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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