Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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